Viola jokes, my goodness.

If you play an instrument, especially if it's an orchestra instrument, you've probably heard at least a few viola jokes.  I play viola, and I've heard about every joke in the book.  But they are pretty funny, especially coming from my orchestra where most of the violists actually practice more than the violinists.  There's nine of us and forty-five of them and I guess they think they can get away with it.
I've actually spent some time looking up viola jokes myself.
Here are a few of the best:
Why is a viola solo like a bomb?

By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

 

This one's a little longer, but worth it:
One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, Guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around 'P'!"
His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a violist."
The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!"
"Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a violist."
On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a violist?"
"No dear," she said. "That's because you're 26 years old."

But even though there are so many jokes about us, the violists get the last laugh.  We know we're completely necessary in the orchestra.