So much has happened between yesterday and today!!! This could be long, so bear with me...
Yesterday- I told Tony the truth about why I broke up with him!!!! *does Snoopy happy dance* I was really worried he'd judge me and stuff, or be weird about me now that he knows I'm ace/Gray-ro, but he said he understands completely and wasn't one bit judgmental. I felt so much lighter and happier about it; it was out of the way and I didn't have to worry anymore.
I also told my closest friend (well one of two), let's call her Mona. I wasn't going to tell anyone else except that we're sooo close, and I knew she would tell me if it was her. We know pretty much everything about each other- and besides that, I was feeling cocky after the situation with Tony. I told her at lunch, and she made a really nerdy yet funny yet offensive to some joke:
Her: "McKenna, I'm actually pretty sure you're not asexual."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because then your cells would start dividing, and making more Mckennas. And I'm not sure how many Kennas I can take."
When I tell you I snorted applesauce....
But then she wouldn't believe me or take me seriously about anything. I said when I finished dying of laughter, "No, but seriously. I'm pretty sure I am."
She told me that being ace wasn't real, and I'm too young to know my sexuality (yet she's crushed on plenty of guys), and when I (and I shouldn't have) pointed that out, she told me that being straight was different than being ace, or anything else, and maybe I just hadn't met the right guy yet, and if I really think that I'm ace she can help me fix it. I didn't let on, but it really hurt me that she would say things like that. I'm not broken; I don't need fixing. And how is ace different from straight? Or gay, or bi, or lesbian? Or anything else I haven't said? Because different sexualities mean you like different genders (or none at all), but their isn't some "magic age" that will change you, and you can't be anything but straight until you reach that age. Ouch. I would probably be more upset with her if she wasn't so sweet in every other way. That was mostly what led me to believe she'd be ok with that particular subject, and I know she was only trying to help but I just wanted her to listen.
You know what? I think I'll just make today a different post ;)
That's a shame what your friend said to you especially as you confided in her, and believe me I know it's not easy to tell people. She should've been more understanding, and she shouldn't have judged you. My friend came out last year about being a lesbian and everyone was judging her (I live in a small, close-minded town.) apart from me, and I confronted my other friend who she had told and she was being all weird about it. And she blurted out, "Not everyone can be as understanding about these kind of things as you Rachel". Not everyone shares the same views on relationships other than a man and a woman but I like to dream that the world will one day understand that everyone is entitled to love who they love.
ReplyDeleteThat's the perk of living in a big town. No one really knows anything about you. I think it's great that you were able to support your friend like that even when no one else did; that was really courageous.
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