A Life Lesson to all of you

Yes.  I have learned an important life lesson that I feel is worthy of sharing with all of you, and because it is a good thing to keep in mind, not for comedic relief.  Okay, maybe a little bit for that.
I went go karting on Tuesday night with my younger brother and his boy scout troop- yay me!  I've never been the best at go karting, but I had it in my head that I was going to whoop Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  Their.  Sorry.  Butts.  When I was through, I would no longer be just "Mouse."  I would be The Mouse that Roared. 
These go karts were exceptionally fast go karts.  I'm talking 40 mph fast.  In an open go kart, wearing nothing but a helmet and a neck guard. 
So you could imagine the pain when you ram said go kart into the wall at 40 mph.  Don't do it.  Ignore the clock and the fact that you're in last place.  Don't speed up the go kart so you lose control while trying to turn.  It's just a bad idea.  My head jerked back and I pulled a bunch of muscles in the back of my neck, and I still came in 9th place out of 9 in one race, and 6th out of 6th in the next.  Did I mention that I hit the wall at this speed three times?
So yes.  Don't do it.

Shakespeare hath a great influence on the modern world

For the past few weeks in English class, we've been studying Romeo and Juliet.  Shakespeare.... was an interesting guy.  Now we can't really understand that, I guess, because we speak so differently that Middle English sounds stuffy and formal, and we don't understand that.
So I'm going to provide you with a quick translation.
Middle English: "I do not bit my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb, sir."
Modern English: "Pfft, no, I'm not flicking you off.  I'm just chewing on my thumb."
Yup.
And I keep speaking really properly, too.  I wrote hath on my math homework, and I accidentally said thou to one of my friends.
Shakespeare's Influence: Getting us to speak like people from 500 years ago.

So, Mckenna wrote a poem

And that poem is rainbow-y and a bit queer.  I'm sorry for all the LGBTQIA posts lately, I promise this will be the last one for awhile (maybe).  It's just that I'm figuring all this stuff out and it's what has been on my mind the most lately.  Anyway, here it is:

7 am is too early to cry,
shrinking into my coat,
trying to shield my face from
the stares I imagine burning through me.

No one even fakes a smile as I pass by,
they say "everyone's a friend",
I say "yeah right" because it's like they know,
see me as different, the outcast, the freak.

I reach my locker and shed my protection,
thinking, thinking hard.
We're different yet the same I know,
I am just as real as the next person.

I leave wondering about rejection,
my head held high but crushed inside,
I never thought they'd see me that way,
and I don't want to know what they're thinking.

Just because I'm not straight
doesn't mean I'm broken or wrong.
But someday it has to end and all of us will see
the world we've known forever, free of discrimination.

But today, in my world I try my best to remain in hiding.

Because 7 am is too early to cry.

It's a rough draft and by no means perfect, but I wanted to get it out there, especially since I'll never show it to anyone in real life why not show the whole internet (Ha! *snorts*  Because the whole internet reads my blog.)  But yep.  My poem. :)

The Today Post

...That I didn't post on the "yesterday" post because it was too long.
Anyway.  I had my audition for orchestra next year!  I'm really excited but also sort of nervous, because I'll be a sophomore next year and the majority of the class will most likely be juniors, who have more experience playing than I do.  I can't wait for the results to come out!  Eeek!  I think I did ok with the piece.  I mean, there were a few mistakes here and there because I was nervous, but it was a difficult piece I only had a few weeks to learn and I'm proud of myself.  And I was perfectly in tune for almost all of it- no dying goat noises coming from my viola, no-sir-ee.  I have an all right shot at actually getting in even though I wasn't perfect, too, because there just aren't many violists compared to violinists, not enough for sure, and more are needed.
I don't know when the results are coming out, but I hope it's soon!

I don't even...

So much has happened between yesterday and today!!!  This could be long, so bear with me... 
Yesterday- I told Tony the truth about why I broke up with him!!!!  *does Snoopy happy dance*  I was really worried he'd judge me and stuff, or be weird about me now that he knows I'm ace/Gray-ro, but he said he understands completely and wasn't one bit judgmental.  I felt so much lighter and happier about it; it was out of the way and I didn't have to worry anymore.
I also told my closest friend (well one of two), let's call her Mona.  I wasn't going to tell anyone else except that we're sooo close, and I knew she would tell me if it was her.  We know pretty much everything about each other- and besides that, I was feeling cocky after the situation with Tony.  I told her at lunch, and she made a really nerdy yet funny yet offensive to some joke:
Her: "McKenna, I'm actually pretty sure you're not asexual."
Me:  "Why?"
Her:  "Because then your cells would start dividing, and making more Mckennas.  And I'm not sure how many Kennas I can take."
When I tell you I snorted applesauce....
But then she wouldn't believe me or take me seriously about anything.  I said when I finished dying of laughter, "No, but seriously.  I'm pretty sure I am."
She told me that being ace wasn't real, and I'm too young to know my sexuality (yet she's crushed on plenty of guys), and when I (and I shouldn't have) pointed that out, she told me that being straight was different than being ace, or anything else, and maybe I just hadn't met the right guy yet, and if I really think that I'm ace she can help me fix it.  I didn't let on, but it really hurt me that she would say things like that.  I'm not broken; I don't need fixing.  And how is ace different from straight?  Or gay, or bi, or lesbian?  Or anything else I haven't said?  Because different sexualities mean you like different genders (or none at all), but their isn't some "magic age" that will change you, and you can't be anything but straight until you reach that age.  Ouch.  I would probably be more upset with her if she wasn't so sweet in every other way.  That was mostly what led me to believe she'd be ok with that particular subject, and I know she was only trying to help but I just wanted her to listen.
You know what?  I think I'll just make today a different post ;)

3rd time's a charm....

You guys, I think I accidentally broke Blogger earlier.  This is the THIRD time I'm trying to make a blog post today, and I'm really hoping the whole post doesn't get deleted when I'm halfway through it this time around, unable to be found even in my drafted posts.  I was already in a grouchy mood and Blogger malfunctioning didn't help.
Anyway, my grouchiness is justified.  Today we had the day off school for snow (yay!), but it was the last day before we have to start adding more days to the end of the year. (Boo!)  My dad and I went outside to clear ours and the neighbor's driveway, him with a snowblower and me with a shovel.  But I was going to get paid, so it didn't really bother me that I had the crummier tool.  Until my dad kept blowing snow over the area I had just cleared. Over.  And Over.  And Over.  I probably cleared one little section of driveway five times before he stopped doing that to me.  And while I was busy cleaning up, he did the rest of the driveway.
Then we drove to my grandparent's house, one town over.  They were at the store, but my 29 year old uncle lives there and never leaves.  I'm serious.  He's really a jerk, too, and  know I shouldn't be talking about a relative like that, but he's never nice to anybody.  And we knew he was home, too, because my mom had called him to tell him we were coming over to shovel/snowblow.  Well, my dad and I got there and realized that while we did have the snowblower, neither one of us had remembered to put the shovel in the car.  So, I knocked on the door to ask if my uncle could open the garage and let me use theirs.
Guess who didn't answer the door?  See- lazy and rude.  He probably didn't answer because he thought we were going to try to make him help.  Ugh!  There are very few people that really strike a nerve in me, but he's one of them.  So my dad tried to teach me how to use the snowblower- another yay!  But I couldn't get it right and ended up blowing snow and the smell of gasoline in my face. 
Oh, and my fingers were about to freeze off this whole time.
Their you have it, my rant of the day.

I guess I'd better say it now....

I don't know why I'm doing this.  But I guess I need to get used to it, say it and organize my thoughts.  Tony asked for a clearer explanation of why I broke up with him, and I don't know how to tell him the truth- I'm Gray-A/Ace, or gray-romantic and asexual.  It means I can feel romantic things like wanting to kiss or hold hands, but it's only happened a few times, and besides that I'm platonic towards him- I want to be really good friends, but nothing more, and I know that's not how he thought (thinks?) about me.  I'm confused.  Like I said in previous posts, he's a really good person, he deserves the truthful explanation, but I just don't know what to say.  Does anyone know about this sort of thing?  I've just recently been seriously considering the fact that I'm mostly likely Gray-A/ace, and don't know what he'll think.

Scrambled eggs

This morning I felt the need to get out a pan and make myself scrambled eggs.  I don't know why.  Me and the stove together is a terrible idea.  But anyway, it was all going fine at first.  I mixed the eggs, milk, and cheese in a pan, then put the pan on the stove.... and realized I forgot to put in the margarine.  So I had to dump everything out of the pan into a bucket then clean the egg out of the pan and grease it, then pour the egg back in the pan.  Then I spilled a few drops of the still-uncooked egg on the hot burner, where it dried and burned to the stove before I could get to it.  While it was cooking, I dropped the spatula I had been using on the floor, where it splatter half-cooked egg all over the floor and the bottoms of my pajama pants.  I realized after that I must have used too much milk because the pan was sizzling and WAY too steamy, while the eggs weren't even cooked yet.  I won't be making any food for a while.
Story of my life.

Rain, just in powder form

This is the conversation I heard in Spanish today.
Boy: "Look how hard it's snowing!"
Boy 2: "They're going to let us out early!"
Spanish teacher: "No, they're not, they never do that anymore!"
Boy 3, who is a major teacher's pet: "Pfft, yeah, what is wrong with you guys?  They haven't done that since third grade!"
Boy 4: "If you want to talk about snow, I'm moving to North Dakota this weekend."
The entire room shut up.
Needless to say, we only got 3 inches of snow and went home at 2:15, like every other day of the year.

The Land of Cheese

First off, I would like to clear up for everyone that there are more things in the state of Wisconsin than cheese.  Because today I had to present a college I've been looking up for my speech/communications class, and I've been researching University of Wisconsin-Madison.  I don't expect anyone outside of the U.S. to have heard of it (I don't know anything about colleges in other countries), or know anything about Wisconsin, but even though they're famous for dairy in that state and UW Madison does offer a dairy sciences major, there are PLENTY of things to study besides cheese.  We had to dress up for it too, and so my friend knew I had a presentation coming up later, and the first thing out of her mouth when I told her about UW Madison was, "Ooh, you're going to research cheese?"
No, actually, I'm going to major in biology so I can become a marine biologist, and study the Great Lakes.
And marine biologist doesn't mean dolphin trainer, although many people think that. :)
Wisconsin- another c state like Ohio, but with cheese and cows instead of corn and cows.  Although I'm sure Ohio cows make cheese, Ohio isn't famous for it like Wisconsin.

Normal Person: WAHHHHH!!! I BROKE UP WITH MY BOY/GIRLFRIEND!!!!! WAHHHHH!

McKenna: "Wow.  That was a hard thing to do, but I'm kind of relieved.  I feel good."
Yep.  I wrote a big paper at like 10:15 last night explaining stuff, gave it to Andrew today and asked his opinion.  Andrew said, "Don't give this to him.  Just tell him.  McKenna, you don't want to be with him so you need to break up.  And don't say you might get back together someday, because that's just false hope and will hurt worse than the truth in the long run."  Then he held up the paper and said, "If he doesn't tell me you broke up or seem a little off by tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to show this to him.  From what you wrote you're obviously wanting it to be over but too afraid to say something, and it needs to happen soon."
Wow.  I just made Andrew seem like a real jerk.  He's not, I promise, that was his advice.  And as soon as I had that conversation with him I found enough confidence to go talk to Tony and break up with him.  And Tony said he's fine!  I'm still worried about it, but I'm feeling really awesome and I'm glad I did it.  There's another girl somewhere out there, and they'll fall in love, and she'll never feel the spark go away like I did.  And if Tony loves her, she is a very deserving girl and is lucky to get such a great guy.  As for me, I'm perfectly content with being single.  Maybe I'll find a guy someday and maybe I won't, but I think I'll be happy either way.

My extended family in a pizza place

We have more relatives from New York in town this week, and even though they're not staying at our house my weekend has been CRAZY, I apologize for not posting.  And I did try to post on Saturday, but just now realized it's still in draft form and it never went.  Anyway.  It's my cousin her husband, and their 2 year old son, and he's cute, but a MENACE.  He was cranky, too, since he slept 12 hours on the drive here.  On Saturday night I played with him for 3 hours in my brother's room, he dumped out a big box of K'Nex and two HUGE boxes of Legos.  Gess who was responsible for cleaning them up?  My cousin's husband did have to change his diaper on my brother's bed, however, so that was funny.
On Sunday night we all went out to a pizza place, us, them, and my aunt's family and my grandparents.  That ended up being fourteen people all crammed in a little restaurant, the 2 year old kept running around, it was so confusing that we kept messing up are orders .  And there was fighting and loudness.  I'm pretty sure the people who work there hate us now.
Sorry this post is so badly written and looks like it wasn't thought out well, it wasn't and I have to go eat dinner now, and then go tuter a little kid.  BUSY BUSY!!!!
Bye!

Thank you Thank you Thank you

Parker who sits at my table in English class, for not forcing me to read a poem in front of the whole class tomorrow.  I can't read out loud to save my life.  I stutter and I mix up words and lose my place and it's not good.  Maybe it's out of pity, maybe it's because you don't want me messing up the presentation, maybe you've finally decided to do work and not leave it all to Sydney and I.
But Sarah.  Honestly?  It's not ok to ask someone what's wrong with them.  Yeah.  I know I hold index cards under words while I read, and I'm a slow reader.  I know that my first draft of writing has silly errors on things I know how to spell, and I mix up simple words.  I know, and I don't need you telling me.
It's not right to ask someone, "How did you get into Honors English?  You're half-illiterate.  What's wrong with you, anyway?"
Ok.  And you're saying that while not actually doing any work yourself.  While you've been sitting back this whole time letting me and Sydney do the work, and just because Parker volunteered to do something doesn't give you the right to be a jerk.
And for your information, I can read and write perfectly well.  I'm writing (and editing) this blog post, aren't I, half hoping you'll read it?  It's called dyslexia, and no it's not a synonym for stupid.  And to answer your question, I got into Honors English by working as hard as I possibly could and editing my work like crazy.  And I'm smarter than you think I am.

Death Pencils

English today was... interesting.
We were talking about symbolism and how tangible things can represent intangible things, and so the teacher had us compile a class list of each.  Our tangible list went something like,
Lamp
Girl
Pencil
Burger
Paper
Pants
After someone said "armpit" she moved on to intangible.
People were saying things like this,
Love
Happiness
Memories
Strength
Power
Pain
Death
Which made the next person say "torture", which I guess is technically incorrect, so she moved us on.
We had to use symbolism and say (tangible) is like (intangible) because...
Mine was, "Pencils are like death because you can be stabbed to death with a pencil."
Don't judge.  By this point I was finding all of this hilarious and my brain was really loopy and my head hurt.  I only had about an hour and a half of sleep last night, at 10pm last night my brother tackled me and slammed my head into the wall, and by the time I got to English class, since I hadn't had time to eat breakfast this morning, there had been no food in my stomach for 19 hours since dinner and I was about to pass out.  Plus, lunch is right in the middle of that class, so by that point it was only 20 minutes away and all I could think about was food.
Now that I've eaten and I don't have a headache I don't really know what I was thinking.

A reason

I have another day off, so I'm going to (well, hopefully I'm actually not) be wasting your time, today with one of those strange and deep inspirational posts.
But I've been thinking, and I felt the need to write something like this, especially since there's definitely school tomorrow, for the first time in 2 and a half weeks.
There's a reason everyone who's reading this is reading this.  I believe that, and I don't know how many of you do too, but I think there's a reason for everything.  Maybe I don't have many readers right now.  Heck, I know I don't have many readers.  But all you guys that are out there reading this are amazing.  And I don't know how you guys are doing, I don't know anything about you and you hardly know much about me, except that I'm a teenage girl in the US who's kind of a klutz.  More than "kind of".  Really.  Clumsy.
But maybe you needed to see something like this.  You might be going through something, who knows, or maybe you're completely bored reading this and wish I would shut up already.
I needed to see something like this, too, though.  I'm not going to lie when I say that I'm a little scared to go back to school tomorrow.  People aren't always the nicest and they think I'm stupid, but I'm going to try to believe my own post and forget what they say.
You're amazing.  I am too, and everyone is in their own way.  Maybe nobody's perfect, but you can always make yourself better.  Get out there, try your best, have some fun.  Stick up for yourself.  Stick up for others.  Don't believe the things other people think or say about you, because you know that there's something that makes you special.  Last year, most of my friends turned against me and I didn't know what I had even done.  I was really upset, and then one friend who didn't leave me said one night, "Just remember that someone is always on your side of the playing field." Cliché, sure, but words to live by.  That person was Tony, and it makes me regret what I posted about yesterday.  He's a special person, too.
Most of all, don't give up.  Nothing's so bad that you can't get through it, that you can't eventually come out of with your head held high, no matter how bleak you may feel at times.
Keep going.  And remember, you are unique.  You are someone special.

Excuses

Today was supposed to be our first day back after break, but school ended up being closed.  So I'm going to use that as an excuse to waste your time by telling you about my pathetic love life. :)

Ok, so in real life I have a boyfriend.  In case he's reading this, let's call him Tony.  Tony has a good friend I will call Adam.  Now, Tony and I have kissed a few times, but they were really short and I wouldn't call our relationship serious.  It's nothing against Tony, because he really is a great guy, but lately I'm not sure how much I like him anymore.  We've been together ish for eleven months now and I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him.
I would talk to Adam about it, but as one of Tony's closest friends he might be obliged to tell Tony.  I don't know if there's some guy code that would make him do that.  Also, he's the friend whose head I almost shut in the locker, so....
Also there's a third person in play who I don't even know in real life.  On the Nanowrimo website, I've been talking a lot to a guy lately, let's call him Caleb.  I kind of have an online crush on Caleb.  The thing is, it's so stupid because I don't know him really, and that's just weird.
I just wasted 5 minutes of your life.

Viola jokes, my goodness.

If you play an instrument, especially if it's an orchestra instrument, you've probably heard at least a few viola jokes.  I play viola, and I've heard about every joke in the book.  But they are pretty funny, especially coming from my orchestra where most of the violists actually practice more than the violinists.  There's nine of us and forty-five of them and I guess they think they can get away with it.
I've actually spent some time looking up viola jokes myself.
Here are a few of the best:
Why is a viola solo like a bomb?

By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

 

This one's a little longer, but worth it:
One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, Guess what? Today in English I got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around 'P'!"
His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a violist."
The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in math I counted all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!"
"Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a violist."
On the third day, Timmy was beside himself. "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured ourselves and I'm the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a violist?"
"No dear," she said. "That's because you're 26 years old."

But even though there are so many jokes about us, the violists get the last laugh.  We know we're completely necessary in the orchestra.

You'd think they'd never seen a snowstorm....

But trust me.  They have.
People are going crazy buying things off the store shelves today, all because we're getting 6 inches of snow tomorrow.
Now, we did get 5 inches a few days ago, but that shouldn't matter because by now the roads are perfectly fine.  And while we are dropping into the negatives even though it's unusual it does happen.  It's insane here.  Literally.  Insane.
Just my rant of the day.  The next thing you know they'll be running around in circles screaming, and the only time that happens is when I sing.

Bad haircut

"It can't possibly be that bad," you say.
Ohhhhhh yes.  Yes it can.  It looks like my hair was cut and styled by a butcher.  My hair is really poofy and wavy and thick, and I swear no one knows how to cut it.  It just looks weird now.  It's really puffy at the top, really flat in the middle around my neck, and then really puffy at the bottom, and not even in a cute way.  It looks like the hair from the 1950s met the 70s hair met the 80s hair.  The only way I could possibly make it look normal would be to curl or straighten it every day for the next 3 months until it grows out, which is definitely not happening.  And if I put it in a ponytail it just look all messy and choppy, as if my hair had gotten caught in a lawnmower, (which, surprisingly, has never happened to me before).
Maybe I should just wear a baseball cap, and be glad that school pictures aren't coming up.

Iron Man

"I am Iron Man, I like to wear a garbage can." (To the tune of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath)
Everyone has heard that joke, or some variation of it.
But what is it really saying?  Oscar the Grouch from the show Sesame Street is always in the garbage can- he lives in it. 
So, Iron Man=Oscar the Grouch.
To put this into perspective:
     =
...yeah.  I'm bored.

Doomed?

Last night when we had the tv on to watch the New Year's countdown happening in New York City, my uncle called and said when the countdown started from 10 seconds we should all lift up our right foot, and put it down when it hit one, to start the year off "on the right foot" Haha.  He said it was for good luck.  Well.  I had my right foot up with the rest of the family, but when I tried to put it down, I tripped over the edge of the rug and slid down against the chair on my side, with no feet on the ground unless you count the left, which was still barely touching. 
Today even though it was only about 25 degrees my brother, dad, and I decided to ride our bikes to the park.  Because it was so cold, the puddles on the ground were completely iced over.  This was how I found out that the front brake on my bike was out.
You can imagine how it went for me.  I think I might be cursed.

Happy New Year!

Resolutions, anybody?
I know what mine are.
1. My biggest is probably to be less shy around people.  On the internet I don't think I seem shy but when I'm talking to people, even people I know, I'm constantly nervous and shy and I never know what to say.
2. Be less over-competitive.  I just have a tendency to take things too far sometimes.  The day before break started, I accidentally almost shut my friend's head in his locker.  Long story short, he kept shutting my locker one day while I was at it, and I spent over a month trying to get him back for it.  I finally had the perfect chance the day before break, but I wasn't focused on how close he was to the locker, and as soon as I pushed the door he leaned forward and... yeah.  It was a really close call, it actually grazed the top of his head.
3. Blog.  For the entire year.  Last year this was my goal but with a hand-written journal but I only made it about halfway through November.